I CAN DO IT !!

 Is the time to update my blog again .. hemm ... gradually became automatic to blogging now.

I'm facing a big challenge now .. because having a performance on Merdeka Day, I had to take a week leave on week 14 for rehearsal on Bukit Jalil which the last week to do revision, hand on my assignment and presentation .. due to that I have to done all those stuff one week earlier than others ... I was so stress, can't even imagine to do it ... don't know how  and where to start from. All was like "come" in the same time, how am I suppose to done all of this in one week ?? Besides, I got very low coursework marks in every subjects .. really don't know why it happened become like this .. I swear I did very best in every work but why ?? keep telling myself I deserve better marks .. that's the facts .. I can't change anything, the only thing can do is do all the best in final .. after 31st performance, 6th of Sep is the first day of final for my first paper .. within 1 week I have to finish my revision ?? OMG !! I really think I can't make it .... after I get a surprise gift from P55 D9 group .. all my stress gone away ~  is a so called "stick" handmade by D9 PTC with encouragement behind it .. I got mine "Pray to have a strong conviction, believe that all the wishes can be achieved, pray with this kind of heart."——Daisaku Ikeda. I have to believe I can do it, not suppose to giving up without doing anything, still not end yet !! everything must be achieved ! IS A MUST ~~ do all those work with the faith and belief ! I can do it !! ^^ get this encouragement in a good time, appears just in time ~ LOL !!

。。。

我到底要怎样挑战过来？今天得知所有的coursework分数。很伤心！全部就只有过半，甚至有fail的！我承认我最近没有很认真在功课上，但我这之前都有很用功地在做～Final 至少要拿到80/100才能拿到B。真的真的很糟糕！就连我最有把握的英文都一塌糊涂！我到底都在干什么啊？废柴！！！颓废！！！
国庆日还要表演，那整个礼拜需要缺席！以为不是问题，结果抽签在27号presentation，29号需要交assignment project，FINAL就在6号开始！我没有信心～～我很压力～!

"Many in Body, One in Mind"

I will be performing on 31st of Aug, the National Day in the name of Soka Gakkai Malaysia, together with 800+ of members and Soka friends. Until now, we only practiced for 7 times. The 7th time, I cried (I used to cry a lot huh .. =.=) because get scolded by own group person in charge (PIC). I admit I did not put 100% effort in every run and I only do my own steps without care about my group members because I'm still unsatisfied with my own group. Before that I was in a preparatory group(D9), even I knew I will not able to perform but I still appreciate every moment with my group member, practice hard together like crazy, counting with the song  together like crazy , laugh together like crazy, cry  together like crazy because I feel the warmth of my group members. They can become very serious when come to practice since we wanted to enjoy each practice and do not want to leave any regret. Until I was nominated became an official performers and sent to a new group(D1), the happiness gone in the same time. I thought I will get the same feeling in the new group but ..... They even do not know the name of their group members, forget the dance steps that learned on the first day of practice, will only wait for instructions, lazy to do counting for every flow steps, do not want to have a slogan which every group has it for encouragement and spirit. I really have too much too much TOO MUCH of dissatisfaction in this group but I do not dare to speak it out since I'm just a new member there so I just leave it. Until PIC reproached us after the practice, I can't hold my tears and it just burst out. Is not because he too angry or scared of him, is because I finally realized my thought was too wrong. My faith and belief are not strong enough. I gave up to my own group. I should bring in here what I have learned in D9, the confidence, the happiness, the heart of cherish, the joyful, the seriousness and etc. I should do that  but why am I the one giving up here. I used to compare D1 with D9 but if I always compare, I will always complain. If this is not what I want then why I have to allow it continue to corrupt down. I should make the change and change of own self.

"In the spirit of many body but one in mind prevails among the people, they will achieve all their goals, whereas if one in body but different in mind, they can achieve nothing remarkable."——Nichiren Daishonin, "Many in Body, One in Mind"

"United we stand, divided we fall." ——John Dickinson (1732-1808)

...

up till the point where you actually felt people around you don’t exactly like you for you, that’s the worst part in life.

you probably thought you’re already doing your best when you’re not. the little voice beside you whom pulls you down when faced with troubles. you’d wonder if you’re doing the right thing, you’d wonder if you’re good enough, you’d wonder if you’re working hard enough. but the way life is is indeed balanced. so balanced that you cannot fulfill everything in the same time. I guess I should always be reminded that success needs to be earned one by one slowly and shouldn’t be rushed. and keeping friends with you are the most important part of life. because success ain’t going to buy you all happiness. not sure if naive but having just getting a little care would mean so much. nothing creative. just a simple “are you okay ?” would give me so much strength.

I do not like to be told what to do. but always when needed, change is a must. and towards the better. it’s no point keeping the emotions buried in you, sometimes it’s better to be straight forward and voicing out. and accept, too.

and, when you know people appreciates and likes you for who you are, that’ll be the greatest feeling I guarantee. I’m not telling you to live the way to please people, but because sometimes even the simplest smile could make you a much more jovial person who’s nice to be around with; and it’ll all be worth it. best of all, it requires almost no effort.

no regret !

TODAY that you had wasted ,

is the day for those who died wishes to have .
NOW that you tired of ,
is the future once you can't go back .

My friend shared this picture through Facebook and I save it.
is really encouraging !
Appreciate everyday that you have, you never know what is gonna happen tomorrow !! except you can predict future @..@
do something memorable and meaningful to pass your time. If not you will regret for what you did in your life time. Cherish now .. even the future ~~
PREPARE FOR THE FUTURE BUT NOT WORRY ABOUT YOUR FUTURE !!

about love ...

for me, love had always lasted so short and left me with pain and fear for a long time. the last time 2 years so now what? I honestly don’t know. mistakes, I keep making the same ones no matter how much I’ve told myself not to. “always know a person thoroughly.” that’s one of the most important things I guess. if I had taken these safety measures I wouldn’t end up with somebody that’s incompatible with me. but that’s just too late. I guess everybody need to make a huge mistake because without having to pay for the price we won’t feel pain, and without pain we won’t change. each time I’ve heard about a complicating and dramatic relationship I would always wonder why it ever happens, being as simple minded as I always am, I thought it would never happen to me. and somehow it just happens and it made me even more paranoid. but I guess I was just too young and naive. I’ve tried my best so far and I guess that’s all it takes. rather than having the feeling of pain from a break up, I just felt like I’ve sunken down and from this I really need the company of my family and friends. I can’t deny that I have not went out with most of my friends here because their outings were always so spontaneous and I had always had an earlier planning to meet him. but from this I hung out with my friends again and instead of feeling that I am anymore different, they welcomed me with open hands with got me really touched. even though friends I’ve known here aren’t friends that I grew up with, but I’ve always believed that once you found a link someone, they could and will be your friend forever. and I shouldn’t neglect my family who have been so supportive of me all the time.  I also want to thank my loyal readers even if you’ve just dropped a comment or two. but if it’s a good one, it gives me strength and I read them gleefully with a big smile on my face.

No matter how many mistakes you make or how slow you progress, you are still way ahead of everyone who isn't trying.
I totally AGREE with that ~~ I saw this post few hours back from my best friend. I liked it ~ why ?
because I agree so much ... you know you have made a lot of mistakes and you know the way you improve yourself is too slow but you knew that you know about it ... as long as you realized , as long as you wanted to make a change then OK ! better than the people that not trying to do anything or not trying to improve, it will not bring you any effect or results since you do nothing ! So , don't hesitate with what you are facing right now , just do your best ... lama-lama jadi bukit !! don't ever wanted to make a big step to get what you want, later you will drop to the ground straightly from the top. Walk slowly and you can see every moment and what is happening with the environment that beside you ~ Don't worry about what the people think as you are still ahead of the people who isn't trying right ?! ~ ^^ such a nice guidance ~ I love guidance !!

LHY transformation !!

Nothing is irredeemable in youth. Rather, the worst mistake you can make when you're young is to give up on yourself and not to challenge yourself for fear of failure. The past is the past and the future is the future. You should keep moving forward with a steady eye on the future, telling yourself, "I'll start from today!" "I'll start afresh from now, from this moment!"
—— Daisaku Ikeda, Youth! A Time for Construction.

Life is long, everyone knows it but even if we have problems, even if we have done things we regret or have made mistakes, your whole future still lies ahead of you. After I read the small paragraph above, I finally realized we need not stuck into those every little thing and makes me become a spiritless person or become an unhappy person if I allow myself to be followed by the bad things. If I cry because of nothing or even give up for a small case, then the people will discriminate me for sure. Why not just do it a little bit nicer, put a little bit more effort, a bit more sincerity ... Slowly, they can see the different, right ? Then people will start respect you and appreciate you. I know talk is easy but when comes to action is a hard work to do but never try never know. At least I did something, rather than do nothing and get nothing at the end. Lim Hsin Yi, gambateh kudasai ~ Fighting ~ plus oil !! let the horse come ~ Guidances back up~ing me !!

Fulamek !!

I'm taking about Korean group again. I know is annoying but as long as I love it ~~ wakaka ~ Tell you what ... B.A.P is having their showcase this Friday in Malaysia !!! ((SHOUT OUT LOUD)) !!! B.A.P will taking their flight to Malaysia tonight , we expect the time of arrival is 1am in the midnight. Guess what ... I'm having a pick-up for B.A.P tonight at KLIA. This is the first time ... I never do that before since normally the artists's flight will be at night or midnight, my mum won't allow me so I feel very excited now , although now only 5.15pm but when I imagine they arrived KLIA , my heart started to beating ~ Oh My Buddha !! and I get free ticket from my friend for tomorrow 8TV showcase, they were invited to perform in this event. Am I that LUCKY ?? Although I can't go for their own showcase this Friday but I really feel grateful for getting free ticket for tomorrow performance. As I'm going to have a pick-up and tomorrow showcase .. I have to rushed all my assignments and those homework. The main point is I have finished and completed all the works yesterday. I started doing my work at 8pm and I finished at 2.30am. The whole progress was nonstop. I was stunned to myself because I won't work so hard except final and my housemates shocked too as I hided in my room after ordered my crazy friend to close the speaker =..= I do all my work nonstop without playing music, eating snacks, FB-ing and drinking oso. They really inspired and excited me to do my work well and faster !

ps/ my housemates wanted the artist come to Malaysia one by one so that I will do my works. Haha ^^

I can do it !!

A lot assignments have to rush, is not because I lazy to do it but they changed the marking basis which will have assignment every week !! I drew the mascot for my advertising design subject for countless times ... really feeling fed up , the Japanese language every week will have test !! 


Should I be happy because I still haven't become insane ? 


Just now I cried because of the mind map before I come here .. I did it all by myself since they found all the information and did a draft for me so I volunteer to do the final one but it doesn't goes well ... my mind map doesn't looks like a mind map but a rubbish .. I did it again and again until I felt frustrated and emotional .. Luckily my housemate keep on encourage me when I feel upset if not I can't finish my work and going to die tomorrow morning in the classroom ...... and she showed me the quotes from Sensei, Daisaku Ikeda. I found out that I really like it and inspirational !! 

“Even if things don't unfold the way you expected, don't be disheartened or give up. One who continues to advance will win in the end.”― Daisaku Ikeda

You Have The Power to CHANGE

Everytime I feel like sad , unhappy , hate my life , dislike someone , hate reading books , lazy to wake up in the morning ,  difficult to change my lifestyle , difficult to change my habit , difficult to change mt point of view towards someone , worried about my mum's health , worried about economic condition , argue with people ,  giving excuses , hating ownself , giving up , postpone my tasks or etc ... I will think of the encouragement below ..


When I change my mind, I will change my think of view ;
When I change my think of view, I will change my attitude ;
When I change my attitude, I will change my behavior ;
When I change my behavior, I will change my performance ;
When I change my performance, I will change my LIFE !

I know is hard to change but everytime I think of this guidance .. I will believe that I can make it too. Although is just a proverb with some simple words , I can feel the power of giving encouragement from it.

I will ask myself why I have to make my ownself unhappy and dissatisfied with this and that .. why and why .. Why don't just make it easier ? If can't make it then leave it and run itself , see what is going to happen , why I have to keep on forcing myself to do it again and again , better and better . NOTHING IS PERFECT ! I'm sure my life will get better when I just change my mind. ^^

EXO - We are ONE !

EXO is a Korean boy group which have 12 person in total, debut on the same date and released their album at the same time too but 12 of them targeting 2 different market. EXO-M (Mandarin) target in China market and EXO-K (Korea) target in Korea market. 6 members of EXO-M stay at China while the others in Korea. They sing the same songs but in different language, Chinese and Korean.

In fact, I really admire them especially EXO-M, the pressure they facing is really hard to explain in words, I searched the Internet to watch the video which they participated in the Chinese Music Awards in China, but the Chinese artist there dislike them, even the host discriminated them and said they only Korean, can't even speak Chinese, and she told that fans do not need to be work so hard for them.

I really felt disappointed to those who were there because they are very dedicated and have a serious nationality discrimination but then the captain answered  the host in Mandarin  and said: "We have four Chinese members and two others Korean members which can understand simple Chinese phrases too so speaking Chinese language is not a problem." I was like clapping my hands like an idiot and slapped the table after he answered. He is such a good leader and humorous person , EQ high enough too of course. The host for sure will get anti by the fans or cut salary .. haha ~

Dalmatian

Dalmatian finally return, they have their rest for a year and a half. Finally we going to meet ! I heard that the their period of rest  is very tough, because they tried very hard to change their own ~ when they debut there is no visibility, and even now they already debut for some time but there is no popular, compared to the children now who had their debut. Although they are senior but popularity is just too low. NOW , is different ! I saw their MV , I was really touched, because not only their singing skills and songs are mature, but the aspects of singing, dancing, image management, body build management, the way of thinking have been improved alot ! Seeing them to return is really surging, not because they return, but a different image for the fans, I can see their hard work and responsibilities as an idol , tried very hard to get rid of the previous image. I see their live through Internet , my feeling is unspeakable ~ Grateful? Happy? Enjoy? Crazy? Emotional? Satisfied? but the most still very touched! They did it! ! A round of applause! !

Lee HaYi !!

Lee HaYi is a conventional Korean high school girl which is only 16 years old. I knew her because I watched a Korean singing competition so called K-POP Star which was recommended to me by my friend, Reanne. HaYi participated in this competition show and WOWs all the judges during the audition section due to her very deep soul voice and her skills in singing. The judge from JYP Entertainment mentioned that this kind of voice hardly to be found in Korea even in other country. Every songs that she sings can transform into her own new song and for those who accidentally click on her video will probably thinks that she is the singer of the song but actually she doing a cover of the song for this competition. The link above is one of the song that she sang which inspired me the most because this song is the first high pitch song she sang. Everyone knows that she is perfect in deep and low pitch song but she really bad in singing high pitch as she never try any high note song before. For the first time she sing this song, she can't reach the pitch, she very upset. She tried so hard and put a lot of effort in this song, until she stand on the stage and prepare to present this song, her throat still in a bad condition, every judges and the people who supporting her are worried about her. The main point is after her performance, the judges cried because of her effort and the sadness of the song she sang towards to the audience. I cried in front of the laptop too. Luckily she got 2nd place in this competition and get the casting of YG Company. Congratulations Lee HaYi !!

Lee Ha Yi. (n.d.). Retrieved June 1, 2012, from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTy_J18cVmQ&feature=g-hist